By His Stripes...
It is very rare that I talk or post about my personal infertility journey. If you look at my previous posts or follow me on social media, you'll see that I encourage others without actually revealing what's happening on my own Journey to Motherhood. But this week is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) and the theme for this year is #InfertilityUncovered. So here’s what’s been happening in my world…..
It's no secret that hubby and I have been trying naturally for a baby the entire time we've been married (which is almost 7 years). In previous posts and live videos, I talk about the waiting process quite a bit. But what you may not know is that this year is the first time we've gone to the doctor to get answers as to what the cause is. I know, I know that sounds rather insane. Normally, if there's a problem the average person would take the proper steps to see what the issue is. We tried to do that... I promise we did... lol. But we had one consult with my OB/GYN, got a very interesting diagnosis and then God shut everything down. And you know what friends? I'm so grateful He did. God, in all of His wisdom, knew that we weren't ready to try to have a baby yet. If I'm being perfectly honest here, it would have utterly destroyed us as a couple. The stress from doctor’s visits and unanswered questions would have made us go from best friend to arch enemies. And that would have defeated the whole purpose of what we were trying to accomplish. So, even though I didn't understand it at the time and was a little frustrated with God for telling us to be still; I'm so glad that we listened. We’ve done a lot of growing and healing since that first consult. So now that we’ve decided to resume getting some answers we can do so like rational adults.
Growing up in church and going to a Christian school I've heard the verse "...by His stripes we are healed..." talked about a lot. But it wasn't until recently that I had to affirm and truly believe this for myself. It’s easy to recite this verse but believing it in faith when you’re put to the test is something totally different. This past week I went to have my HSG (Hysterosalpingography) test done. For those that don't know, an HSG test is an X-ray test to outline the internal shape of the uterus and show whether the fallopian tubes are blocked or not. I read stories about how painful it could be and I didn’t really know what to expect. So, in the days and hours leading up to my appointment I was anxious and almost had a mini panic attack while in the waiting room. You see, I had unconsciously made up in my mind that my tubes were automatically going to be blocked and that my fertility issues were my fault. Of course, this mode of thinking was a distraction from the enemy and extremely counterproductive but hey, that was my truth in that moment. I was scared. I was alone. And the enemy was trying to plant his seeds of doubt. But it was in those moments leading up to the HSG test that I had to declare "by His stripes I am healed". Even though I didn't yet know what the outcome would be, I still had to make this declaration and actually believe it. I honestly don't think I could have gone through the physical pain of that procedure (can we just say OUCH!!) without believing I was healed regardless of the outcome. I had to make a decision to trust God no matter what happened when I entered that exam room.
And I’m happy to report that all went well with the HSG test. About five minutes after the test was done I received this message from my doctor:
COME THROUGH JESUS!!!
After reading that message the ONLY thought that came to mind was Isaiah 53:5 “….by His stripes I am healed..” Even though I had made that declaration earlier that day I also knew and understood that my outcome could have been totally different. I couldn’t do anything after reading this other than say “Thank You, Lord!”. But while I was in the middle of rejoicing that I was reminded that more than just my body was healed. These past few months have emotionally sucked for me and hubby. All the wondering, hoping, praying and wishing - but still having to wait - really does take a toll on a couple. Add in work stress and other normal marriage stuff then yeah… let’s just say the struggle has been real. But lately God has been doing a new thing. So while my body has been healed and there’s no blockage in my tubes, I also realize that
By His stripes my mind is healed.
By His stripes my marriage is healed.
By His stripes my heart is healed.
By His stripes my emotions are healed.
By His stripes every part of my being is healed.
And you know what friends…. I declare this over your life as well. Even if it doesn’t feel like it or look like it, please know that by His stripes you really are healed! You don’t have to go through this journey feeling broken, discouraged or defeated. That, my dear, is a decision. So today, decided that you are going to walk through this journey like the healed and whole person that you are. Walk through this journey with your head held high, letting the enemy know that he can’t break you because…
BY HIS STRIPES YOU ARE HEALED!